Prohibitions Relating to Speech

BE"H

This is the 5th installment in a series about improving our speech, l'ilui nishmat Saul Bruckner, a'h.

The following is taken from a recent Hakhel email:

D. In last week's Haftara, the Navi Hoshea (14:2,3), after urging us to do Teshuva (Shuva Yisroel!) immediately instructs us on how to do Teshuva with the words "Kechu Imachem Devorim Veshuvu El Hashem--take words with you and return to Hashem. We must take our words with us--we must realize (as the Vidui Booklet points out) that a GREAT NUMBER of the sins we mention in the Vidui of Yom Kippur have to do with misuse and abuse of that great power that distinguishes us from animal--our power of speech. The Chofetz Chaim teaches that if we are more circumspect with our speech, we can be free of the following Issurim:

1. Lashon Hora--brings many, many other aveiros along with it and can destroy relationships, families and lives
2. Rechilus--as above, and perhaps even more hurtful to the person
3. Sheker-while Hashem's seal is Emes!
4. Chanufa--including egging on...'you're right!'
5. Laitzanus--mockery, poking fun, ridicule
6. Ona'as Devorim--hurtful or insulting words
7. Halbanas Panim--one reader pointed out that embarrassing another in public causes one to forfeit his share in Olam Haba--and then asked if this is so --is this the greatest aveira--even greater than Chillul Hashem....
8. Divrei Ga'avah--words of arrogance--even though the sign of greatness is humility (Iggeres Haramban)
9. Divrei Machlokes--fighting, argumentative words
10. Divrei Ka'as --words of anger that you won't be able to take back.

Perhaps we can keep this list around near a place(s) where we can look at it before we are about to make a statement or comment, or have a conversation, that is not within our usual manner of speech. Remember the VERY FIRST words of instruction of the Navi--Kechu Imachem Devorim--VeShuvu el Hashem! May you hear your success--with your very own ears!

Please feel free to contact me with any questions and I can try to answer/clarify them as best as I can. If not I can attempt to refer you to an authority who can.

Thank you for reading,
Esther Asna

Geulah through a Closed Mouth

Great tips on how current events should inspire us to teshuva from yesterday's Hakhel email:

Special Note Two: As Arab Governments (Yishmael) remarkably weaken and falter before our very eyes--only a few short years after the Western World (Esav) began tottering from both security and financial perspectives, we recall the words in last week’s Parsha in which Hashem advised Moshe Rabbeinu--”Ve’Roisa Ess Achorai U’Fanai Lo Yeira’u--You will see my ‘back’, but not my ‘face’--you will understand events after they happen but will not be able to understand them prior to then. We all know that something is happening--we simply don’t know what it is--and we are not supposed to, for if we did we would have Nevi’im . So what is left? Of course, it cannot be said enough--it is Teshuva--the desire, the longing, the movement, the actual strides to put your life and the lives of those close to you in the right direction.--in that very same direction as those20% who left Egypt, and not the 80% who tragically remained forever behind. The first steps in Teshuva are identifying the foibles and the shortcomings, the failures and the faults. The next step is feeling true remorse over them and realistically resolving how to not fall to them so easily again. Every day, we recite the words “Selach Lanu Avinu Ki Chatanu--Hashem, please forgive us for having sinned”. Without proper charata--remorse over a misdeed, what worth is the thrice daily lip movement? Is there any redeeming value to saying something to Hashem which you don’t mean now--even if you do intend to mean it five or six months from now when Elul gets closer? The key is valuing each day here and now, and not letting it pass without a new step in the direction of shleimus--making oneself whole as a person. Just as with the body--when we bang our foot, we begin to walk funny, so too it is with the soul--if our tongues are a bit too loose with a little loshon hora, or with coarse, hurtful, or non-complimentary words (even if they are simply only words that you wouldn’t say in front of your Rav, your Rebbe...or your shadchan)--then our Tefillos are also hurt and wounded, and our words of Torah are far from pristine. Not letting the indiscretion, the carelessness, the instinct-over-intellect, happen again, and doing this consciously and consistently, day after day, will provide daily elevation--not only in Shemiras Halashon, but in one’s precious words of Torah and Tefillah as well.

There is something even more powerful. As we have noted in the past, the Chasam Sofer explains that the month of Adar, according to his reckoning, is representative of Shevet Binyamin. He explains that the stone on the Choshen for Binyomin is Yospheh--which can be split into two words--Yesh Peh--he has a mouth. This, the Chasam Sofer explains, is what allowed Mordechai from Shevet Binyomin to be victorious over the Lishna Bisha--the evil words of Haman which were set to literally destroy K’lal Yisroel. Mordechai was a descendant of Binyomin who had a mouth--but kept it closed and did not tell his father Yaakov what his brothers had done to Yoseph; Binyomin’s descendent, Shaul Hamelech also had a mouth, but once again kept it closed until the time came to be declared King; Esther HaMalka as well did not reveal ‘moladata’, where she was from, despite the immense pressure from the king for her to do so--and as a result all of K’lal Yisroel was saved. Succinctly stated, the closed mouth of Binyomin--the Yoshpheh-- literally brought salvation to us all. By following in the Yoshpheh tradition (you may even very well be from Shevet Binyomin!), you are not only saving your own mouth from contamination, you are not only immensely approving your words of Torah and your words of Tefillah--but you are bringing us all one step closer to the Bais Hamikdash and Geulah--as Hashem’s House is especially nestled... in the nachala of Shevet Binyomin!

Asara beTevet, Teshuva, 8 Tevet, 9 Tevet etc.

From today's Hakhel email:

Special Note Three: Today is the eighth day of Teves, the tragic day upon which the Torah was translated into Greek, the Septuagint, which is marked as a Ta’anis Tzadikim (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 580:2). For further detail on the tragedy of the Septuagint, we refer you to the Sefer HaToda’ah, translated into English as The Book of Our Heritage (Feldheim), by Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov, Z’tl.

Tomorrow, the ninth day of Teves is actually also a Ta’anis Tzadikim, for it is the Yahrtzeit of Ezra HaSofer (see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim ibid., Mishna Berurah seif katan 13). As a zechus for Ezra Hasofer, one can review the Takanos that Ezra instituted, as described in Bava Kamma 82A.

These two days are then followed by a third Ta’anis, Asara B’Teves, which is observed by all.

The Chasam Sofer in a Drasha that he gave on the eighth day of Teves (approximately 200 years ago) suggests that after the 70-day period of mourning in Egypt ended for Yaakov Avinu, the Bnei Yisroel traveled to Eretz Canaan and eventually buried Yaakov Avinu--on Asara B’Teves. The date of Eisav’s death is then--yes, Asara B’Teves, as well.

There is much to learn from the Chasam Sofer’s conclusion in our observance of Asara B’Teves. After all, Ma'aseh Avos Siman L’Bonim--that which occurred to our forefathers is a sign for future generations. Firstly, Chazal teach us that “Yaakov Avinu Lo Mais.” That is, even though it may appear to us that Yaakov passed away, in fact, he lives on--most certainly so in spirit. We, too, having experienced the devastating blow of the events of Asara B’Teves more than 2,500 years ago have not rolled over and died as scores of other nations have in the meantime. Moreover, what ultimately happened on Asara B’Teves was the death of Eisav. This, the Chasam Sofer writes, is symbolic of Asara B’Teves in the end being turned from a date of sadness to a day of “Sasson V’Simcha”--joy and happiness.

The missing link to bring us to what Asara B’Teves is supposed to be is Teshuva. We all know that this is the shortest fast of the year, so it should be the easiest. That is a gift in and of itself. However long or short the fast is, in order to be meaningful, it must be accompanied by Teshuva. We must do something. We must make a move to revitalize Yaakov, and to once and for all, put Eisav away.

One suggestion may be to take out your Vidui booklet, or other Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur reminder. We especially note that Asara B’Teves is “Asiri Lakodesh”--the next tenth day in a series of ten day periods since Yom Kippur--an especially auspicious day for personal improvement!

One final, but important comment: Rashi explains that when Yosef and Binyamin fell on each other’s necks in last week’s Parsha (Bereishis 45:14), it was to symbolize the destruction of the two Batei Mikdashos, and the Mishkan of Shilo, which were located in their respective territories in Eretz Yisroel. The Avnei Nezer explains that the “necks” symbolize the Bais HaMikdash and the Mishkan, because just as the neck connects the head (which is the resting place of the soul) to the rest of the body, so, too, does the Bais HaMikdash (and the Mishkan) fully and finally connect our physical lives to our spiritual existence. When we yearn for the Bais HaMikdash, we are yearning to connect our corporeal life to the highest spiritual plane it can achieve. By endeavoring to make a brocha (the spiritual) over food (the physical) properly, we demonstrate that we are sincerely preparing for--and awaiting--the day when we truly can connect our bodies to our souls in the most absolute and outstanding way that we can!

Channeling the Yetzer Hara and the Power of an Hour

Great stuff as usual from today's Hahkel email:

Special Note Four: In last week's Perek (4:1), the Mishna teaches "Who is a Gibor? One who quashes his Yetzer Hora." Rashi to Sanhedrin (111 B) provides a great insight as to the higher form of Gibor one should strive for. Although one can simply deflect the Yetzer Hora--much like one distracts a baby in order to get him to stop crying, one can also channel the Yetzer Hora's seemingly patented drive and desire to sin into zerizus and hiddur in the performance of a mitzvah--just as the baby may be led to stop crying not by a petty distraction but by giving it a challenging, new or more interesting or learning experience. With this approach, the legs which are running to do an aveira--rather than simply stopping in their tracks--instead run to do a chesed or to get to Shul early; the tongue ready to speak sharp or biting words instead recall a d'var torah from the previous week's Parsha or speak gentle and calming words; the mind pondering something waste-filled or evil instead contemplates redding a Shidduch or figuring out how one can best help a neighbor or friend in need with a thoughtful measure of dignity and respect. In all of these circumstances, the vanquished Yetzer Hora is not merely put into prison to rot--but instead is used to build the very fort and castle of the Mitzvos and Ma'asim Tovim so necessary for one to realize his potential. It's great to beat the Yetzer Hora--it's even greater if you take his assault and turn his plans into a part of your offensive and success! If you are already ready to be a Gibor--why not try taking it to the higher level suggested by Rashi -- not only subverting the sin-- but converting it into your Neshama's delight!

Hakhel Note: Chazal taught us as well in last week's Perek (4:21) that one hour of Teshuva and Ma'asim Tovim in this world is 'yofeh'--better than all of Olam Haba. Let us contemplate the awesome nature of this statement. One hour of good deeds in this world is greater than the goodness of a World to Come that is go great that our corporal being cannot even fathom or imagine. The Mishna does not qualify its reference as to an hour of good deeds by clarifying that it is referring to one hour of Rashi or the Ramban's life, or the good deeds of Rebbe Akiva Eiger, the Vilna Gaon or the Chofetz Chaim. Rather, it clearly refers to any one's hour and any one's good deeds. Here, one is on common ground with the Gedolim of all previous generations and of his generation--he has the same potential to make the next hour shine more brilliantly than, using the Tanna's words, 'all of Olam Haba'. Can we find *at least one hour a day* which we consciously choose to make more 'yofeh' --better than all of Olam Haba? The greatness resounds within us --as we hoist up and elevate an Olam Hazeh that is sinking so low to all the world all around us to a very, very special place in the Highest of Heavens above. When someone asks you-- "Do you have the time? You can answer--"I have even more than that--I have the hour!"

23rd of Sivan - Muchan L'Tova

From Today's Hakhel:

Special Note Five: Tomorrow, the 23rd day of Sivan, is one of those special days especially mentioned in Tanach. Many of you may remember where. In Megillas Esther (8:9), the Pasuk records that on the 23rd day of the 3rd month--“Hu Chodesh Sivan” (which is the month of Sivan)--the King’s scribes wrote all that Mordechai had dictated to them. While we may not have the exact text of what was written other than that the Jews could destroy their enemies, we do know that Achashverosh had permitted them to write in the letters--“Katov Bi’Eynechem--whatever is favorable in your eyes, in the name of the King...”

The Luach Dovor B’Ito writes the following about this very special day:

One should try to recite the relevant Pesukim in Esther (Esther 8:3-17).

In the name of the Makover Rebbe, Zt’l, the day is Mesugal for nisim v’niflaos, as implied by the Pasuk referred to above--“Now, write [on this day] about the Jews what is favorable in your eyes in the name of the King”--which also refers to the King of the World. Thus, just as Mordechai subsequently left the King with many royal garments (ibid., 8:15)…so can we!
In 1940, the Russian Government told thousands of Jewish refugees in Eastern Galicia that they could register as Russian citizens. Rebbe Itzikel of Antwerp, Z’tl, advised them not to register. On the night of the 23rd of Sivan, the Russians exiled to Siberia all those who had not registered as Russian citizens. The exiled thought this to be a horrible decree, but the Rebbe told them that the 23rd of Sivan is “Muchan L’Tova--prepared for the good,” and that no bad would come out of their exile. A year later, in Sivan 1941, the Nazi’s YM’S, invaded Eastern Galicia and killed the Jews who remained--the exiles to Siberia remained alive.

Let us harness the powers inherent in this day, through our own personal Torah, Teshuva, Tefillah and Tzedaka so that the King writes beautiful letters on our personal behalf, and on behalf of all of K’lal Yisroel!