Mazal tov, it's a girl!

Chaviva Malka Cohen
As some of you may know on Friday night we were privileged to bring our new daughter into the world. Today we named her and as promised here is the story behind the name. We were thinking of girls' names awhile back and since two of my great-grandmothers were named Chaya we thought about that. But my sister already has that name. (We are Sephardi but my husband has a minhag not to name for the living. Go figure.) Even though it would be for the ancestors and not for the sibling he doesn't like to do that either. So we entertained the idea of Chava being an alternative to Chaya but hadn't decided definitively and were still iffy on a middle name as well.

Fast-forward to after the birth. During the day on Shabbat I had some quiet time to reflect and just my siddur and Tehillim to read in the hospital so I opened up Pirkei Avot in the siddur to review/see which ones I remembered in Hebrew. And I came upon 3:18, "Chavivin Yisrael" etc. and it affected me. I was thinking it sounds a bit like a combination of Chava and Aviva (being that we find ourselves in the spring season). But in addition to that it hit me that I really felt beloved. Throughout the birthing process with 2 amazing doulas (my doula and her student) and the post-partum; I just felt like H-shem was watching over me and caring for us in so many ways. The quality of the hospital staff has yet improved further; having the baby on the weekend enabled me to avoid the dynamiting that they are doing nearby during the week; Shabbat itself was relatively quiet and I was able to get a private room. A local organization even sent someone to offer to bring me some extra food to enhance Oneg Shabbat; just as the hospital served their weekday-type kosher lunch and I was missing my usual Shabbat fare.

Even though these all seem like mundane details they all contributed to a wonderful birth experience. I feel like I'm really at a loss to put this into words in the proper way but that's how the name came to us. And yes, it did occur to me that Chaviva can be translated to Aimee (my secular name) but it was not our intention to give the baby my name.

Malka was a name we were throwing around for the last two daughters as well and is after my mother's father as no one has been named for him yet (My son was named for my father's father and my father-in-law's father).

As my husband said, people may or may not like the name someone gives their child but what they may not realize is that that was always that child's name and it is revealed to each person's parents as a form of Ruach HaKodesh (a light form of prophecy) when they name him or her.

Thank you everyone for permitting me to share this story with you and may you all feel beloved as we have.

Full text of Pirkei Avot Chapter 3, Mishnah 18a
http://www.torah.org/learning/pirkei-avos/chapter3-18a.html

L'iluy Nishmat Aharon HaKohen

From Today's Hakhel Email:

Special Note Two: One of the rare dates mentioned in the Torah is today’s date, the first day of Av (once again, last week’s Parsha!) What happened on this date? It is the day of the petira, the passing, of Aharon HaKohen. Chazal teach that the Ananei Kovod, the protective clouds of Glory, which surrounded us in the desert (and will once again surround us in the future) were in the Zechus of Aharon HaKohen (see Rashi on Bamidbar 33:40). Once the Ananei Kavod left us, the initial reaction of the outside world was to attack us, as is described in the Torah there (Bamidbar 33:40). What did Aharon HaKohen do for which he merited the protective clouds both for himself and for the rest of Bnei Yisrael? We may suggest the following: The Mishna in Avos (1:12) teaches that he was an Oheiv Shalom V’Rodef Shalom- that he loved peace and pursued it. The midah k’neged midah--the measure for measure reward becomes very evident. Because Aharon made peace among people, he merited peace being brought upon all of Klal Yisroel with the Clouds of Glory.

Indeed, Hillel in the aforementioned Mishna, enjoins us all to “Be among Aharon’s students” in this regard--to learn the value of peace among brothers. In a letter issued by HaRav Elyashiv, Shlita, and HaRav Shteinman, Shlita, they especially asked that we be very careful in these perilous times “not to fall prey to the opposite of Gemilas Chasodim” which is to cause pain or suffering to your friend. They point out that in the generation of the wicked king Achav, Bnei Yisroel were victorious at war because there was no Machlokes, no strife, among brothers. The Gedolim therefore request that we are “meod mishtadel”--that we put in greater effort at this time to make peace among ourselves.

PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: It is essential that we take the lessons of Aharon HaKohen, as specifically reiterated by Rav Elyashiv and Rav Shteinman very much to heart. We may even posit that the petira of Aharon HaKohen comes out at the beginning of the Nine Days to remind us that if we could rid ourselves of machlokes, of causing pain to others, and of the need quite to the contrary to love and pursue peace between and among ourselves, we can go a long way to bring immediate and long lasting Yeshuos. Let us at the very least focus on one or two people over the next few days and try to promote a peaceful or more peaceful relationship with them. Peace brings peace, for as Dovid HaMelech teaches in Tehillim (121:5)--”Hashem is Your Shadow.”

Start Raking in the Profits!

Personally since I heard about it I thought it was a great lesson. The idea that for keeping silent - even when you could say something of value - but there is a danger of saying something forbidden - is worth double the value of saying something is so incredible. I highly recommend the Chofetz Chaim Lesson-A-Day book. I also remember there was the idea that after 120, for the times you kept silent, you could say that you weren't sure if speaking was forbidden in that particular instance. But if you spoke something forbidden in that instance then what would your excuse be?

From today's Hakhel Email:
Special Note Four: We continue our Three Week series on Chizuk and
care in Shemiras Halashon. Chazal teach: "A word for one sela,
silence for two". Incredibly, the value of silence is even greater
than the value of speech--even though it is with the power of speech
("Ruach Mellalela") that we are defined as human beings. In fact,
Rabban Shimon Ben Gamliel (Avos 1: 17--which beautifully incorporates
our lesson for the week from last week's Pirkei Avos) : "All my days I
was raised among the Chachamim, and I found nothing better for the
**body** than silence." Silence is not only better for the mouth, for
the brain and for the soul, but is actually better for the body as
well! (Rabbi Avigdor Miller, z'tl). In order for us to put this
essential teaching into practice,

-especially in a situation where speaking could lead to Lashon Hora,
Rabbi Jonathan Rietti, Shlita suggests that a person picture himself
as receiving $100,000.00 for each time that he remains appropriately
silent. Without doubt, the spiritual reward is immeasurably much
greater, and the average person challenged with such situations
perhaps ten times a day, can become more than a millionaire daily! It
is interesting to note, as Rabbi Rietti teaches, that although Rebbe
Yisroel Meir HaKohen Kagan, Zt'l, wrote a six-volume Mishne Berurah
which is such a great source of our Halachos today, and although he
authored many other Seforim as well, he is known to us all as the
"Chofetz Chaim" because of the primacy of this work, and its effect on
the last generations before the Moshiach. "Who is the Chofetz
Chaim--he who guards his tongue from speaking evil, and his lips from
guile" (Tehillim 34:15). Perhaps we can try Rabbi Rietti's suggested
exercise several times today. Practice that silence...and start
raking in the profits!

Hakhel Note: Of course, even when one does speak, it is important for
it to be "B'Nachas Im HaBrios--with pleasantness to the creations".
If one would review the Igeres HaRamban, he may agree that the most
oft-repeated theme in the Ramban's instructional letter to his son on
how one should lead his life is this point-—to speak softly and
respectfully to others.